Three-Word Check-In

Step 1: Individual Reflection (5 minutes)

Write three words answering this question:

“When I am at my best, how do I want to be experienced by others?”

The rules are:
• Use adjectives describing behaviour, but not roles or job titles.
• Avoid generic words like “nice” or “professional”.
• Trust your instinct over making this perfect - first answers are usually truest.

Examples (for inspiration and not prescription):
• Calm · Clear · Grounded
• Curious · Direct · Fair
• Warm · Decisive · Steady
• Thoughtful · Present · Honest



Step 2: Sharing (Optional — Group Version)

If done in a group:
• One person shares his three words, and nothing else
• The group responds to one question only: “Where do we already see this in you?”
• There should be no advice, no challenges, and no reinterpretation.


Step 3: Quiet Integration (3 minutes)

Answer privately to yourself:
• Which word felt strongest?
• Which one felt aspirational?
• Which one felt slightly uncomfortable?

Remember that discomfort is data and not failure.



Step 4: The 10% Commitment

Choose ONE word and commit to expressing it 10% more deliberately over the next week.

That’s it - no public accountability is need. No dramatic transformation - just 10% more of one quality, practised in real interactions.



Operating Principles

Harden:
• Choose words describing behaviour others can actually experience.
• Hold your words steady for a week before changing them.
• Commit to a concrete 10% practice, and not a full reinvention.

Soften:
• Try to choose instinct over perfection - first answers are usually the truest.
• No-one corrects your words or tries to improve them.
• Discomfort is data, and not failure.


Reflection Question

Which word are you willing to practise 10% more deliberately this week and what would that look like in a real interaction?